


Knight

by ikonisch (discordinparadise)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Junbobficsparty2019, Junhoe's POV, Late Realisations, M/M, Mismatched socks, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but they're not dating?, gotta mention valentine's, i think, jiwon's a sweetheart who sees junhoe as his world, junbob best friends, junhoe's a tsundere but not really, or at least a very very soft one, they go on a date!, this is just an overload of sweetness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 05:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordinparadise/pseuds/ikonisch
Summary: "I'm gay."Jiwon didn't have any reaction straight away.Thinking back, Junhoe had no idea what Jiwon was. He was so freelance about anything to do with relationships and love, barely talking about it but still 'aww'ing over opposite or same sex relationships alike, and Junhoe knew he had had a girlfriend once but the only thing Jiwon would say about her was 'she liked curry and I couldn't make good enough curry for her.' Though one time recently, something incredible happened. Junhoe and Jiwon were sitting on Jiwon's sofa, watching something random on tv that had a ton of idols doing something, when Jiwon had randomly said, 'he's hot, I'd bang him' and everything was dead silent. Junhoe stared at him so hard. Jiwon stared back. Then he simply got up and walked away.They never talked about it again.





	Knight

**Author's Note:**

> day three: free (anything)!

Junhoe was waiting outside the headmaster's office for maybe the twentieth time in all his years at the school. Half of them were because of of his misunderstandings and achievements, and the other half because of Jiwon's...not-achievements? Jiwon wasn't a delinquent. Far from that, he was just always in the wrong situations at the wrong times. He was too nice to let someone take the blame, too brave to back down from problems that weren't even his, and of course, sometimes he'd be actually breaking the rules too. But Junhoe was two things: a prefect (even if that was just because the head girl liked how he looked), and Jiwon's best friend. He cared about rules - well, to an extent - and also knew Jiwon inside out, letting him see the guy exactly for what he was and it was safe to say that Junhoe really liked him despite any rebellion. And that was the main reason as to why he would always wait, every time that Jiwon would be called into the headmaster's office or put under supervision (basically a 'nicer' way to say detention) during lunch or after school.

Today was different, though. Special. Junhoe had something to do, something that had been in his calendar for weeks so he wouldn't forget and now that the day had finally come, it was tearing him apart from the inside. Junhoe had been so nervous all day that he was hoping to get home early which he had told Jiwon about and he thought that the 'okay, sure!' that Jiwon had given him clearly meant that he  _wouldn't_ get into trouble. But, maybe not. Maybe it was Junhoe's fault this time, that he was either too dependent or too caring because he didn't  _have_ to wait.

Though, when Jiwon came out with a grin and sparkling eyes, Junhoe knew it was worth it.

"The lovely old geezer asked me if anything was wrong at home," Jiwon said brightly once him and Junhoe were outside, with Jiwon walking precariously on a thin staircase railing while Junhoe walked beside him on the safe ground, hands in pockets. "Well, I told him that I'll have him know that  _no_ sir, home life is freaking amazing and that's why it's always quite a disappointment coming here!"

"Oh don't say you actually told him that..."

"Pfft, no," Jiwon snorted, jumping off and landing on the ground neatly, though Junhoe still moved a little to try and save him if anything went wrong. "Besides, it's not _that_ true. School is exciting. I mean, some of it's boring but I like making it exciting, and I like learning the stuff that I like. And I get to see you! School isn't all that bad." 

"Don't you think you make it too exciting sometimes?" 

"Hey," Jiwon said, halting for a moment to turn and look at Junhoe who looked back at him, confused. "What are you saying? You trying to fight back at me?" 

"Not really," Junhoe said, smiling a little as he linked an arm with one of Jiwon's and pulled on it. "You make school exciting for me too. Now let's go before my parents call the police again."

"That was funny," Jiwon reminisced, grinning as he surged ahead and now he was the one pulling Junhoe forward which the younger didn't really have any choice to object to, only retaliating, "You call it funny but my mother's wailing has literally stayed in my mind for months so don't."

"No it was  _hilarious_ , what are you talking about? You dropping your phone in the pond and then me going in after it, definitely the most fun thing I've ever done."

Junhoe could still remember that, when Jiwon so heroically yelled, 'I WILL PROSPER TO SAVE MY FRIEND'S BLOCK OF METAL' and before Junhoe could tell him that didn't make sense, Jiwon was diving in like an absolute moron. "You could've got pneumonia."

"I was being heroic!"

"And stupid."

"I hate you," Jiwon grumbled, sulking a little as he pulled on the shoulder strap of his bag, tugging it closer to him. Junhoe didn't quite reply with anything more than a hum, too caught up in his own thoughts. He felt so jittery inwardly while on the outside he was looking down, taking small steps, being withdrawn and quiet. And of course Jiwon noticed, of course he did and Junhoe should have expected he would. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You stressin' about some essay or exam?"

"Yeah," Junhoe lied, because it was an easy excuse that he could go with even if Jiwon should've seen through that. But thank God he didn't as he rolled his eyes and swung his bag into his other shoulder.

"Well you _shouldn't_ , you know. Smart people like you are dumb sometimes. Well, a lot. I'm pretty sure you have the ability to do or be anything you want to do or be and it's stupid that you're the only person stopping yourself. Straight A students always have such worries, huh? Maybe that's why they're so smart, cause they care so much. But you don't usually care and you do well, so annoying. I just don't care and fail all the same," Jiwon said, giving  Junhoe a beam and the younger rolled his eyes, nudging Jiwon's side with his elbow. Junhoe just did well in things because his sister had taught him how to study and wouldn't dare let him do bad, but he still _did_ do bad in some tests but Jiwon would always say things like 'that's because your intellect is far more powerful than those measly pieces of paper!' Jiwon was deluded.

"You're such a bad influence."

"No, you are! Do you know that today, I actually turned the light off of the classroom before I left? You and your eco-talks..." 

"Seriously? I'm so proud," Junhoe teased and Jiwon raised his eyebrows, though he tugged Junhoe a little closer to him when a strong gust of wind blew past them. Junhoe groaned inwardly as grit got into his eyes before he could shield them and he tried to blink them out, looking up at the sky in annoyance and he didn't notice Jiwon looking at him. Smiling, in a way that didn't hold any humour or derision. It could have been adoring.

What a shame that Junhoe didn't see it.

"This weather sucks, huh?" 

" _So_ much," Junhoe grumbled, trying to pat down his hair before he looked back at Jiwon who quickly averted his gaze then, kicking a stray rock that was on the path and that was when Junhoe caught sight of the elder's mismatched socks, one dark blue and another starkly Christmas-themed, red with reindeer prancing around all over it. Christmas in February? Junhoe stared at them in amazement, wondering why he hadn't noticed them earlier before he just shook his head, grinning to himself.

Jiwon was so weird.

 

 

 

 

 

Junhoe was sitting outside his house, on the steps leading up to his door. He was on the verge of freezing but he had a warm puffy coat around his shoulders which helped, and it wasn't as if he had come here to freeze to death - he just wanted to think. Crisp air always helped him do that.

He had just come out to his family.

Nothing had even gone wrong.

But he was still terrified.

He didn't know how many times this exact moment had run through his head but it was always _there_ , in the back of it, and never in a million years did he think that it could finally leave the corners of his mind which had started to dust up with how long it had been there. Now it had finally happened, he didn't know what to think. He remembered that instead of gathering them up, there was a split-second where all his family were in the dining room, even if they were just passing through, and Junhoe blurted it out. He remembered the shock, and he remembered tears. Were they his own? Were they his parents'? His sister didn't cry, no, she just hugged him. Said she was proud of him.

_'You didn't deserve to be so quiet for so long, Junhoe, no-one's going to hurt you. Do you think I'd let them?'_

He had chosen a very specific date. The 15th of February. Not out of the ordinary at all. Not a date long after he had decided to come out, but a week after two of his friends' birthdays, giving Junhoe enough time to gather his thoughts but not spend less time on celebrations. A Friday, so he wouldn't have had to go to school after the emotional turmoil in case his family reacted badly and because of simply finally _saying_ it. He could lie in for two days now. And stress out. And wonder if now it was in the open, and it was two hundred percent more difficult to take it back...was he doubting himself?

_'Smart people like you are dumb sometimes. Well, a lot. I'm pretty sure you have the ability to do and be anything you want to do or be and it's stupid that you're the only person stopping yourself.'_

Junhoe really wasn't smart at all. But right now, it seemed smart to call Jiwon up.

"Heyyyyyy-"

"Hyung."

"Oh shit, okay."  

Junhoe hugged himself, shaking a little when a gust of wind blew past him but Jiwon's voice was so warm that it made everything okay. "Are you busy?"

"Nope, never." 

"I-" Junhoe bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment before he was able to say in a more leveled voice, "I've got something that I need to tell you." 

"Tell me."

"It's...it's deep."

"Are you alright?" Junhoe asked worriedly, and Junhoe could hear the very distant thud of loud footsteps. Who was pacing about in his house? "You're outside, aren't you? Even your tongue sounds like it's shivering."

"I'm fine, honest, I just...it's stupid. I know we don't usually talk about heavy stuff," Junhoe muttered, looking down at the step underneath him as he shuffled his shoe across frosted tufts of grass growing between cracks. They were trapped, and Junhoe felt trapped too. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

"That doesn't matter, I swear I'm more than capable of it."

"It's something I've kept inside for so long," Junhoe whispered, clenching his free hand into a fist as he huddled closer to his knees, quickly shaking away the urge to cry but he knew the tears welling up in his eyes weren't about to stop. Junhoe cried easily, over dramas, stories. But when it came to real life, he usually liked to kid himself that he was stronger than that. "And now I've finally said something and I, I don't know how I should feel and it's like I'm falling to pieces because it's out there. I'm free and I'm me but I don't know  _how_ to be because I don't know how to take a step back after I've taken so many forward all at once-"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Jiwon said, his voice all level and soothing to completely contradict Junhoe's state and it was helping as Junhoe fell quiet, closing his eyes. "Maybe you're overreacting. Maybe it'll all be okay."

"It  _is_ all okay and that's...God, this sounds so stupid but I think that's the problem. I always sound stupid but this is like clearly stupid."

"Talk to me, okay? I'm here." 

"It feels like I've taken a breath of air after holding my breath so long," Junhoe said, trying to speak slowly so he could get himself together a bit more. "But I've got so used to holding my breath that it's painful to breathe." 

He heard a door opening from a few houses down and he closed his eyes, not wanting any of the neighbours to see him like this, but Jiwon's encouraging voice in his ears made him speak on. "I think I'm just confused. I think it's just bigger than me. It shouldn't have been such a big deal." 

"Did it deserve to be a big deal?" 

"Probably not. But my family make everything a big deal. That's what they do. But I'm not blaming them for anything, because I love them, and they're great, and hyung I'm actually gonna cry holy _shit_ -" 

"You can cry, you know that? You can cry your heart out. Do anything to make you feel better, Junhoe." 

"I just want to talk to you," Junhoe murmured, and his words caught on themselves to the point that he could barely get them out. Footsteps were getting louder. "I really don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to think I'm wrong, I-I just-" 

Two mismatched trainers came to a stop right in front of him and Junhoe looked up. Jiwon wasn't smiling, and his eyes were a soft sad, the same energy as curling up on the sofa and eating the best-tasting fudge after a sucky day. His phone was down by his side now but Junhoe kept his by his ear as he stared right into Jiwon's eyes (which was so incredibly hard to do but it was important he did) and said, "I'm gay." 

Jiwon didn't have any reaction straight away.

Thinking back, Junhoe had no idea what Jiwon was. He was so freelance about anything to do with relationships and love, barely talking about it but still 'aww'ing over opposite or same sex relationships alike, and Junhoe knew he had had a girlfriend once but the only thing Jiwon would say about her was 'she liked curry and I couldn't make good enough curry for her.' Though one time recently, something incredible happened. Junhoe and Jiwon were sitting on Jiwon's sofa, watching something random on tv that had a ton of idols doing something, when Jiwon had randomly said, 'he's hot, I'd bang him' and everything was dead silent. Junhoe stared at him so hard. Jiwon stared back. Then he simply got up and walked away.  

They never talked about it again. 

Junhoe slowly got onto his feet, stumbling a little on the way but Jiwon caught him by the arm. "Easy." 

"I think I can breathe better now," Junhoe muttered, resting a hand on his chest so he could search for his heart to see how fast it was beating because he didn't want to _explode_ from his feelings, and Jiwon grinned. 

"Because I'm here?" 

"No. I don't know. No, shut up." 

Jiwon raised his arms in surrender before slowly lowering them when Junhoe looked away with a sigh, rubbing his own arm, and Jiwon suddenly took a seat on the doorstep that Junhoe had just been sitting on before tugging on the hem of Junhoe's shirt. "Sit with me."  

Junhoe didn't object, sitting down next to Jiwon and they were squished up next to each other which was almost a strange feeling, considering how there was always inevitable space between them when they were together, unless they were linking arms but Junhoe's massive puffy coat made it less obvious, but he wasn't wearing it now. It had fallen off his shoulders. He was wearing a thin button up, and Jiwon was in a hoodie, and they were both looking at the ground instead of at each other, and Junhoe was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe again. 

"You know there's nothing wrong with it, right?" 

"I know." 

"It could be an internalised homophobia sort of thing. That's common." 

"I don't think so...I mean, it's not like I  _dislike_ this. I just don't really know what I'm doing," Junhoe mumbled, hugging himself. "I gotta familiarise myself with it. Straightness is just so common, you know? Here. It's like the default, and I feel weird." 

Everything was quiet for a moment, even the traffic seemed imminently distant, until Junhoe seized up because Jiwon was pulling the puffy coat on the floor back around Junhoe tightly. It was warm, so warm and Junhoe wanted to snuggle into it, but when Junhoe turned his head to look at his best friend, Jiwon's smile was undeniably warmer. "Junhoe, will you go out with me?"  

Immediately, Junhoe threw Jiwon's arms away from him and scooted as far away as he could, almost falling off the doorstep and Jiwon's eyes widened. "Wait-" 

"WHAT THE HECK-" 

"Junhoe-"  

"WHY WOULD YOU-"

"JUNHOE!" 

"IS THIS A JOKE?! IT'S NOT VERY FUCKING FUNNY, HYU-" 

Junhoe yelped when Jiwon surged forward and clamped a hand around his mouth, cautiously looking at the door as if Junhoe's mother would come bursting through any second to catch them being idiots. Then Jiwon looked back at Junhoe who stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes. "Are you done?" 

Junhoe shook his head and Jiwon sighed, resting a hand by Junhoe's hip to keep leverage as he said, "There's a reason for this, I swear. You said you feel weird, right? Let me make you feel unweird, let's go on a date, like a date that normal people go on. Because a guy going on a date with a guy should feel just as right as a guy going on a date with a girl."  

Junhoe could feel the flush of his skin as much as he could feel the pierce of Jiwon's gaze, and he slowly raised a hand to rest over Jiwon's so he could pull it down, about to let go straight after but Jiwon held onto his fingers. And that was fine. Totally fine. He wished his braincells would stop screaming at each other. "So...you'll go on a date with me, just to make me feel better?" 

Jiwon seemed to be thinking it over in his head before he nodded. "Yeah. Pretty much." 

"Fuck you," Junhoe said in soft, questioning amazement and Jiwon burst into laughter, shaking his head. Then Junhoe realised for the first time how far back he was leaning while Jiwon was hovering over him and he was about to quickly push him away before the door behind them opened and Jiwon toppled forward with a yelp, immediately falling onto Junhoe who caught him just in time and let out a groan when his back hit the pavement. "Why are you so  _heavy_..." 

"Oh, sorry, your highness, let me just lose some muscle for you!" 

"No muscle, you're just fat," Junhoe bit back, punching Jiwon's side lightly and Jiwon pouted at him. 

"Sorry for interrupting this love-fest but Junhoe needs to come back inside," Yejin's amused voice said from above them and they both quickly snapped out of it as Jiwon rolled off of Junhoe, collapsing on the floor with an 'ouch' and Junhoe sat up, feeling a little dazed as he rubbed his head. 

"Hey, noona..."  

Jiwon propped himself up onto his elbow, sending Junhoe a dazzling grin while he said, "I'll pick you up at six." 

Junhoe flushed pink yet again as he watched Jiwon hop up and rush off so he could disappear into his own house, and Junhoe did the same but far slower, feeling so disoriented as he picked up his coat. Yejin was giving him a suspicious look and Junhoe blinked at her, opening his mouth to try and clarify before he realised just how weird it sounded. _'Oh, I'm going on a date with my best friend because it'll make me feel good inside!'_

"So what was that about?" 

Junhoe swallowed, and decided to make it sound as normal as possible. "I've got a date tonight." 

Yejin's eyebrows shot up. "With- with  _Jiwo_ - you're joking. What?" 

Junhoe just walked past her and went up the stairs, his face fizzling with the urge to smile as he ignored Yejin's calls and simply collapsed onto his bed. He could hear his phone buzz and he didn't look until his phone did that annoying thing of buzzing again for the same message so he dragged himself towards it, flipping it over so he could see the screen. 

_\- wear something nice! though u always look nicee <33 _

_\- oh my god..._

_\- whAt im jus getting into the couply spirit ;-;_

_\- i hate you_

 

_\- i loooooove u_

_\- what if my parents don't let me go_

_\- ill be banging on the door at six pm nmw_

_\- and in that case ill jus sweet talk them!_

_\- don't u worry my darlinggg_

_\- STOP_

_\- NEVER_

_\- CUTIEPIE_

_\- KIM JIWON STFU_

 

 

 

 

Junhoe couldn't believe what he had just opened the door to. Really, he couldn't, and he half-thought he was dreaming when he saw Jiwon on his doorstep once more in a dress shirt and black jeans with a massive bouquet in his arms that was making Junhoe dizzy just by staring at it. 

_What am in for?_

His parents now thought that Jiwon was the sweetest human in the world when Junhoe told them what was going on. He had had to suffer hours of them gushing over his kindness and his dad's joking 'why can't you date him in real life?!' which got a fork thrown at his head. With purposeful bad aim, but the threat was still there.

Junhoe hadn't had a single idea of what to wear because, did he even own anything nice? He would have failed if Yejin hadn't burst into his room and sifted through his wardrobe for him - it consisted of a lot of 'what the hell'ing and hurtful remarks and Junhoe was really hoping that this date would be worth his sensitivity having been targeted so much. But seeing Jiwon like this? It was going to end up being a million times more than he bargained for, wasn't it? 

"Did you actually get me ro-" 

"Yes, I actually got you roses," Jiwon said brightly, shoving them into Junhoe's arms. The epitome of romance. "Well, would you look at that, they really bring out your eyes!" 

Junhoe grumbled curses under his breath as he disappeared and pawned the roses off to his mother who gasped while his dad at the dining table let out the most high-pitched 'SO CUTE' in existence and Junhoe grabbed an orange to throw at him this time. He walked off to go meet Jiwon again, picking up his pace a little as he instantly walked through the doorway and slammed the door shut behind them, taking hold of Jiwon's arm as he trudged away. 

"Hey, easy, tiger! Where are we going?" Jiwon asked confusedly and Junhoe answered with a flat, "Out of my family's reach so they can't tease me for a lifetime." 

"Well, for one thing, you're going the wrong way. Come on," Jiwon said amusedly, tugging Junhoe back and now Jiwon was the one directing and Junhoe was the one being dragged. He didn't like it so he quickly hurried to fall into step beside Jiwon who smiled without looking at Junhoe, and Junhoe stared at him for a moment. He was oozing charm. He had cleaned up so well but at the same time he didn't look much different, he looked like Junhoe's same old best friend with a touch of glamour, but now Junhoe was really noticing the small things like Jiwon's soft skin and his _smile_. Junhoe had really been underrating that smile, and he almost blurted out how nice it was but he kept his mouth shut. 

They walked in silence down the long street, and Junhoe realised that Jiwon was holding something. Was his mind  _so_  bad that he wasn't able to notice that before? Something big, something box-like, and Junhoe tried to lean over so he could get a look before he quickly snapped straight when Jiwon turned his head to look at him. "Don't tell me you're nervous." 

Junhoe quickly shook his head. "No! It'll be just like us hanging out."

Jiwon's laughter rang in his head. "It's not supposed to be, Junhoe." 

"It basically will. Or somewhere close." 

"Okay, then. Let me prove you wrong." Then Jiwon stopped walking, resting the box on the ground and Junhoe blinked as Jiwon walked around to stand in front of him, pulling something out of his pocket. Then Junhoe's breath hitched when Jiwon took a step closer, looking focused as he rested one hand on Junhoe's shoulder and with the other, he brought up a small rose to tuck behind Junhoe's ear, his fingers brushing against his skin so gently that it felt like the swish of a feather. Junhoe had never been so speechlessly frozen while Jiwonms other hand settled on his shoulder too, and Jiwon smiled as he got lost in Junhoe's face for a second. "You look beautiful."

Junhoe gulped, feeling the inevitable pink creeping up his neck as his heart melted beneath his ribcage, and his mind was so blank that he could barely continue walking again. So, yes, perhaps Junhoe had been completely and utterly wrong. This was going to be too different to the times they usually hung out. 

_"MY BEST FRIEND'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON THIS FUCKING PLANET SO HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED MAKE-UP BUT HE WANTS IT SO GET HIM THE LIPGLOSS **NOW**!" Jiwon yelled at the poor clerk, slamming his fist on the counter. Junhoe was simply withering away by the mascara, having never felt more embarrassed, but he had to say that having Jiwon come back to him with a sparkling smile and a stick of Junhoe's favourite lipgloss held triumphantly in his hand - it was almost worth it._

Or, maybe not so different.

Jiwon veered off to go into a cut off from the street and it was actually quite scary because of the imminence of the night, even if there were streetlights dotting the footpath, and Junhoe had to refrain from clutching onto Jiwon. But then it all opened up into a massive stretch of land, a field, and Junhoe blinked when he saw the way the darkening twilight sky was gently tinting the grass purple in a mesmerising way. It was gorgeous, and if this was what he was going to be in for a good few hours then he loved Jiwon more than he ever knew. 

"I'm a basic bitch," Jiwon suddenly said which made Junhoe snort in laughter, choking a little because that had caught him by way too much surprise. "So I had no idea what to do, and I actually looked up date ideas, okay, I was stumped. But some parts of the internet are really really weird so I just scrapped it and decided to be the most basic I possibly can." 

"Picnic in a park?" Junhoe asked and he didn't know why he sounded so hopeful. Jiwon gasped in mock-amazement, slapping a hand onto the side of his face. 

"How did you KNOW?!" 

"I'm a psychic."

The spot Jiwon picked was basically right in the middle of the field, where all the streetlights met to make waning illumination meaning it wasn't too light nor too dark. Junhoe was about to sit down until Jiwon stopped him, setting the box on the ground again only to take out a quilt, looking extremely happy with it as he tried to lay it out across the ground until the wind blew it right back into his face and Junhoe couldn't help laughing.

"OFF, DEMON!" Jiwon yelled, scrabbling his arms about and Junhoe didn't stifle his giggles as he reached out to help even though it was difficult when Jiwon was being a hazardous windmill, but he managed to clamp Jiwon's arms down in a military version of a hug. Seeing Jiwon's desolate face right in front of his had laughter bubbling up Junhoe's throat again. "One minute in and I've already failed."  

"You haven't _failed_ , come on," Junhoe reassured, letting go of Jiwon so he could take hold of two corners of the blanket and walk backwards. "Rest it on the floor then sit on it as fast as you can before the wind attacks again."  

"It's a plan."  

They both maintained eye contact for the sake of telepathy as they slowly lowered the blanket to the ground and then they were rolling onto it, bashing into each other inevitably and Jiwon snickered while Junhoe groaned in pain, rubbing his hip. " _Fuck_..." 

"Why did you roll when you said to sit?" 

"I don't know but I didn't think  _you'd_  roll!"

"Well, great minds think alike. And we're not great minds but you know, we're up there somewhere," Jiwon said with a carefree grin that made Junhoe want to swipe at him as he sat up and turned to the box, taking out things and placing them between him and Junhoe. Junhoe watched in growing anticipation at the plethora of food in boxes or bowls capped by clingfilm, and he opened his mouth to ask where it was all from but Jiwon read his mind. "This is half convenience-store bought, half what my mother made and I helped too but I promise it still tastes good." 

"Pinky promise?"  

Jiwon reluctantly held out his pinky like he was scared of it and Junhoe snorted as he tapped it with his own. Junhoe then stared at Jiwon for a sort of signal of 'can I start?' and Jiwon blinked, completely not getting it until he had a lightbulb moment. "Wait!"  

"Waiting." 

Jiwon took hold of a few bowls, tearing into the cling film with his chopsticks and his hands moved so fast that Junhoe's brain couldn't really keep up with it, he could see green and red and then he was backing up because Jiwon was holding up a ssam _right_ in his face. Jiwon was an implacable mix of shy and incredibly proud of himself. "The first bite has to be me feeding you." 

"That can't be a rule..." Junhoe said uncertainly, still leaning away a little and Jiwon shrugged, going closer which had Junhoe almost sweating. 

"How about it is now?" 

Junhoe grimaced, looking at the wrap then back at Jiwon who Junhoe expected to be wiggling his eyebrows or something stupid but he only looked encouraging. Junhoe hated him so much. "Fine." 

Jiwon lit up but now he looked slightly nervous too, though Junhoe didn't catch that as he leant forward and opened his mouth - only for Jiwon to smash the ssam against it and almost make Junhoe choke. "Oh so fucking  _romantic_ ,  _hyung_ -"

"I'm sorry, I panicked!" Jiwon yelped, clasping his hands together for what, forgiveness? Junhoe glowered at him as he chewed the food (which did taste quite delectable) and he made the split-second decision to make a ssam of his own, feeling Jiwon's terrified gaze on him before he even looked up. 

"Let me feed you now. Only to be fair," Junhoe said with a sweet smile, inching closer and holding the wrap up like a weapon and Jiwon clamped his mouth shut, looking down and shaking his head but Junhoe placed two fingers under Jiwon's chin and tilted his head back up. It was the best thing in the world to see Jiwon's wincing face, Junhoe had  _all_  the power. "Say 'ahhh'?" 

Jiwon looked utterly defeated and his morality must have kicked in since he opened his mouth, just slightly, and Junhoe didn't know why he paused. Maybe it was something about how Jiwon looked weirdly adorable, or how his eyes were wide and glittering, the twilight sky and Junhoe was reflecting in them, and Junhoe felt, for a split-second, mesmerised. He had the power but he didn't use it, he simply placed the wrap into Jiwon's mouth gently and the elder blinked in surprise. "Mmrf?" 

"You've got something there," Junhoe said quietly, brushing away a stray piece of lettuce at the corner of Jiwon's mouth and the latter was stock-still, slowly reddening as he stared at Junhoe and when their eyes met, Junhoe narrowed his and leant back. "Eat it, idiot." 

"Fof crif." 

"What?"

Jiwon shook his head, finally doing some sort of jaw movement showing he was eating and Junhoe sighed in withdrawal, shuffling back to where he was so he could feast some more. No more feeding then perhaps neither of them would die tonight. 

 

 

 

 

 

"How did you know?" 

"Hm?" Junhoe asked as he stared up at the few stars that were starting to blink at him from the sky. Jiwon rolled over slightly to face him, propping himself up on his arm and Junhoe could feel his gaze but he tried to ignore it. 

"How did you know you were gay?" 

Junhoe quite liked the bluntness in his words, though the softness in his tone made it seem as _not_ -blunt as possible. Why was Jiwon speaking so softly? He didn't need to. "That's a tough question, you know." 

"I know." 

"Would you ask someone how they knew they were straight?" Junhoe asked, turning his head to look at Jiwon who nodded, dead serious. 

"I  _have_  asked that before."

"Of course you have. I don't know what to tell you, I just think guys are hot and they're just what I chose. Because I can. They just appeal more, or does that sound bad...I don’t know, it just happened. It’s just one of those things.” 

"Do you think I'm hot?" Jiwon asked and his voice still held that innocent softness that was weirding Junhoe out because it made him want to take Jiwon  _seriously_. Hell, the guy wasn't even smiling, he was just waiting. Waiting for an answer that Junhoe didn't even really need to think about because he just knew it, but he was silent anyway.

"Yeah, hyung," Junhoe answered eventually, looking back at the sky. "You're decent." 

He could tell Jiwon was smiling now. 

"I think the concept of it first came about when I was ten. I wanted a knight, not a princess. I thought that it'd be much more likely for a prince to fall in love with their knight, aren't they someone they've known for so long and someone who'd, like fight for them, and die for them? Now that's true love. I asked my sister but she thought I was just being an annoying brother, so I told my mom and she said I had good points but most guys go for a girl. I asked why, she said that she didn't know." 

"I don't know either," Jiwon murmured, looking down and fiddling with the picnic blanket. Junhoe nodded. 

"Does anyone? You know what she told me today when I came out, she pulled me aside and whispered, 'I hope you find your knight one day'." 

"Have I ever told you how much I love your mum?" 

"Many times, hyung."

Junhoe tried his best not to seize up when Jiwon rolled over to eliminate the gaping space between them. They still weren't touching, not yet, but Junhoe could feel his body heat and it was comforting and overwhelming all at once. Then Jiwon was saying in a voice much closer than before, "You deserve it, you know? You deserve a knight, hell, you deserve the _best_ possible knight." 

"Aren't you supposed to be my knight tonight?" Junhoe asked jokingly and Jiwon grinned, shaking his head. 

"Nah. I'm the dude who'll wither away in the corner of loneliness once you find your knight."  

"You'll be better than them, though. One hundred percent." 

"I wish." 

Junhoe looked down, his eyes locking on Jiwon's hand which was now lying by his side. He slowly moved his arm towards it, inching closer, closer, until he looked up at Jiwon to see if he was noticing his cowardly attempt. But Jiwon's eyes were closed. There was a soft smile that was more metaphorical than visible on his lips and he was glowing because of the stars and because it was Jiwon, and Jiwon always glowed. He stood out even when he didn't mean to. It was a waste that he was Junhoe's friend, because Junhoe liked to consider himself the main character but Jiwon had protagonist qualities by the _dozen_. Jiwon wasn't a sidekick. 

Junhoe couldn't not do it now. He slid his hand under Jiwon's, palm up, and that was really all he could bear to do which was why it was horribly scary when Jiwon's fingers came to life, stretching out to thread through Junhoe's, squeezing them.  _Don't let go_. Junhoe wouldn't.

"If we sleep out here, would racoons kill us?" Jiwon mumbled tiredly and Junhoe laughed - immediately some of the tension was alleviated. Wow. "I'm just asking."

"No but our parents would." 

"That's extremely true." 

"So is this finished?" 

"Well," Jiwon said and when his eyes opened, there was a mischievous glint in them. "That depends if you want to terminate at your doorstep or invite me over."  

Junhoe's eyes widened a little as he swallowed, trying his best to shake any thoughts out of his head. Jiwon had been over so many times before, it would be _useless_ to feel weird about it now. "To do what?" 

Everything stopped the closer Jiwon moved to him. There was no-one else in the entire world, just Junhoe and Jiwon, hand-in-hand and Junhoe was so hyperaware of Jiwon's lips near his ear that he really did break into a sweat, clutching Jiwon's hand tighter. 

"We can do anything you want," Jiwon whispered and Junhoe felt a lurch in his chest. 

"Hyung, shut up."  

Jiwon hummed quietly and Junhoe felt a warm, soft feeling at his ear and his mind didn't link two-and-two together for an embarrassingly long time until he got it.  _He just kissed my fucking ear_.

"I'll actually punch you out of oblivion the next time you do that," Junhoe tried to say but his voice came out small, almost choked up, and he knew he wasn't convincing anybody. Jiwon still chose to humour him though, murmuring an amused, "Okay," as he sat up and began packing away the food, without letting go of Junhoe's hand. Why, when it was obviously just making it harder for him to do anything? 

Junhoe would let go, if he wanted to. But he didn't. Not really. 

Junhoe was going to sit up to help, but Jiwon was saying, "I'm done, just one more thing," before he suddenly lied down again, resting his head on Junhoe's shoulder as he held up his phone. Junhoe blinked, furrowing his eyes in confusion before Jiwon squeezed his hand, yelling out a preppy, high-pitched, "Selfie time!" 

"Oh God," Junhoe muttered in disbelief but Jiwon seemed firm in his decision. 

"This is  _essential_. Or at least, it's on my agenda. So many people take selfies on their dates, don't you wanna be cute and goofy with me and be able to look back on it?" Jiwon asked with a teasing smile and Junhoe sighed, trying to hide his face in Jiwon's hair and according to the camera shutter noise, Jiwon deemed that 'cute and goofy' enough. "We're already doing so well!"  

"You know your mouth, that thing you speak with? You need to start keeping it closed more."  

"Tempting but no thanks."  

Junhoe peeked out a little, looking up at the phone which was showing Jiwon's grinning face and Junhoe's reluctant one, just waiting for a photo to be taken. Junhoe was one of those types who liked the camera but it was just the thought of forever having visual evidence of the time him and Jiwon were more couply than Junhoe felt like he could ever be with  _anyone_  - it was making his face red, making his toes curl. His heart was beating even faster underneath his chest. 

"You okay?" Jiwon asked and Junhoe could see his concerned face on the phone screen which snapped him out of it a little. He shook his head, holding up a peace sign as he smiled at the camera and this time as the shutter went off, Jiwon had turned his head to look at Junhoe, a grin on his face.  

It was raining selfies after that (that was Junhoe's joke that got him a punch in the gut from Jiwon). One of them looking absolutely crazy, tongues sticking out and wide eyes; one of them acting like models, lips pursed and hands through hair and gosh, Jiwon was acting so ridiculous that it was the most difficult thing for Junhoe to try and hold back laughter. They probably took a million selfies and he knew Jiwon hated deleting anything that had Junhoe in it so the guy would have to say farewell to his storage. 

"Just one more," Jiwon said finally and Junhoe sighed, relieved but it also made him feel empty inside. He wondered what they'd do for the final one but in the end, Junhoe ended up lock-limbed anyway, because Jiwon pulled their intertwined hands up to his face to cover his mouth and winked coyly at the camera as if to say 'hell yeah, losers, here's some evidence that he's  _mine_.' Even though that wasn't true. Technically. And before Junhoe could even ask him what the fuck he was doing, the picture was already taken and Jiwon was dropping their hands back down. "Let's go!"  

Junhoe couldn't stand up or really do anything but stare at Jiwon who blinked back. "What?" 

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" 

Jiwon smiled, laying his head back on Junhoe's shoulder, this time nearer his chest. Junhoe rested his face in his hair again just because it looked too fluffy. 

"Now what makes you say that?" 

### 

The city was the night and the streetlights were the stars. It didn't make the prettiest night sky but it didn't matter, it was more than good enough to lead them back home. Having Jiwon swing their hands while they walked back had Junhoe worried at first in case anyone would notice them and want to scream into oblivion, but then he ended up warming up to it as Jiwon's bright, endlessly familiar voice flitted through his ears too and it all seemed so normal. If Junhoe ever got the courage to grab Jiwon's hand another time when they weren't on a date, he hoped Jiwon would let him. 

"We made it." 

True, they were at Junhoe's doorstep now and both of them were just facing each other but not looking at each other. Junhoe's eyes were on the ground, his other hand rubbing his neck and he was watching Jiwon's shoes, staring and staring until he had to stifle a scoff. More mismatched socks, one pink, one blue, and they were both patterned with hearts. Why did Jiwon even  _have_  heart socks? 

"Yeah, I thought I should wear socks more accustomed to the event," Jiwon said shyly, noticing what Junhoe was looking at. "I was even gonna wear matching socks for you but I really couldn't find the other one of either..." 

"It's alright. They're great. You're great." 

Jiwon looked up in surprise but Junhoe turned away, knocking on his door and his mother answered the door so quickly that it almost gave him whiplash. "Boys! How was-"

She fell quiet when her eyes fell on their hands and Junhoe's eyes widened, his hand immediately pulling out of Jiwon's hold on instinct. God, it felt cold. "Can Jiwon-hyung stay over?" 

"Ooh, what's gonna happen?" his father sang, popping out of nowhere behind his mother, wiggling his eyebrows and Junhoe really would've taken off his shoe to throw at him. Luckily Junhoe's mother hit him around the head for him.

"Mum?" 

"Of course he can, sweetheart. If it's a sleepover should I call his parents?" 

Junhoe looked at Jiwon with a glance of 'do you want to?' and Jiwon's eyes said 'sure but do you' and Junhoe was like 'I don't know' and Jiwon's face creased with 'what do you  _mean_  you don't know' and Junhoe waved his face away as he nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great." 

"Alrighty, have fun!" His mother and father ran off like two giddy teenagers and Junhoe rolled his eyes, walking in and taking off his shoes, checking if Jiwon was following suit and it was hilariously cute to see his feet in all their weirdly socked glory. They were lovely socks though. It made Junhoe's own heart catch a little.  

"Junhoe?" Jiwon asked him while they going up the stairs and he had that innocently questioning tone again that made Junhoe want to smack him. "You know how yesterday was Valentine's?" 

Junhoe reached the landing and looked back at him. "Yeah."  

"Would you have been my Valentine if I asked?"  

"Well, you didn't ask, did you? You let me be alone," Junhoe humphed, crossing his arms and Jiwon laughed as he reached Junhoe. 

"I had this whole master plan to send you a card filled with the sappiest things but then I thought you'd go all jujitsu and you know me, always looking for a way out of a broken bone!" 

"I wouldn't have gone jujitsu, I would have told you that you're the biggest idiot in the entire world," Junhoe clarified, frowning, and suddenly Jiwon's grin was bigger than ever.  

"I was hoping you'd say that because that's definitely something I can handle." 

Suddenly Junhoe was being dragged over to his own room and sitting cross-legged on the bed since Jiwon had told him to, and the boy himself was standing in front of him, arms out as he proudly recited from a card produced from the box, the worst monologue the world would _ever_ witness. Though really the world wasn't witnessing it, it was just Junhoe, and he sure wished he wasn't.

"My dear Junhoe!" 

"Please throw me into a river..." 

"Your beauty's far more than the stars or any jewel could ever possess! You shine like a ducat-"  

"A what?"  

"And I wonder, do I  _deserve_  to be among such a hue?!"  

"No, this proves you don't." 

"I will do anything for you! I will fight bears, roam desserts, climb the most _perilous_ of mountains!" Jiwon yelled, jumping forward only to lower himself onto one knee, reach out and take Junhoe's hand, smiling charmingly. "This and more for your love." 

"Why, hyung? Seriously, what do you gain from this?" Junhoe asked in defeat, stoically ignoring the way Jiwon was running his thumb over the back of his hand, holding it so gently. Jiwon only grinned wider, going back to his card. 

"A thousand stars could twinkle but not as bright as you." 

"Christ..." 

“The world has so many wonders, but only one you.” 

“That’s...wow.”

"Thinking otherwise makes me feel stupid, because whenever you're around, you really are the only thing I can focus on," Jiwon continued in a softer tone, staring straight into Junhoe's eyes and Junhoe realised, terrifyingly, that the atmosphere had shifted. That kept happening tonight and Junhoe swallowed, wanting to look away but he couldn't since Jiwon the jester had suddenly become a sparkling knight. "Maybe that's why I wanted to be your friend in the first place, so I could be distracted evermore by your grace, but in the same, be able to distract you with my words. Give and take, to pretend it's requited. I would bid adieu! But soft, I shall say in a timing so sublime, I ask, Koo Junhoe, be my Valentine." 

"Hyung?"

Jiwon nodded, metaphorical bunny ears perked and all anticipating. Junhoe uncrossed his legs, sticking out one so he  could kick Jiwon gently and say even gentler, "You're the biggest idiot in the world."

Jiwon beamed, opening his mouth to say something before his phone buzzed and he took it out of his pocket and looked at it, frowning. “Hm...”

“What?”

Jiwon only got up and started tapping away. Junhoe raised an eyebrow, staying still for a second before he asked, "Who is it?"  

"No-one..." 

"I'm not dumb enough to believe that." 

Jiwon shrugged but he was still typing, so Junhoe got up to try and sneak a look over his shoulder, reciting, "'Then what are'-"

"Don't do that!" Jiwon yelped, quickly whirling around and Junhoe crossed his arms. 

"Who is it? Just wondering." 

"It doesn't matter." 

"You don't usually keep stuff like this from me, come on." 

"Look, just let me say I'm busy then we can-"  

Junhoe took the phone from Jiwon's hands without much trouble and he thought that was it, he was victorious; but then Jiwon decided to fucking  _pounce_  on him, knocking him back onto the bed and while Junhoe was feeling momentarily confused and windswept, Jiwon took the phone back and threw it at the floor. "God's sake, Junhoe, I said I was gonna-"

"Don't try and tackle me, you  _amateur_ ," Junhoe grumbled, incredibly irritated as he took hold of Jiwon's forearm and twisted it inwards, stopping once Jiwon's stance weakened and he switched their positions in seconds, pushing Jiwon down into the bed. "I didn't think it was that deep, okay? I'm sorry."  

Jiwon coughed raspingly, wincing and Junhoe felt a little bad as he leant back so he was sitting on Jiwon's lower abdomen. It was quite a powerful feeling, really, but Jiwon was neither a competitor nor someone that Junhoe ever wanted to have a fight with. "So what is it? You dating someone, hyung?" 

"In this moment of time, I'm only dating you, Junhoe. Even if that's going to end in an hour or so," Jiwon said, smiling up at Junhoe which immediately alleviated all of Junhoe's worries. But then Jiwon sighed, his smile falling. "Damn it." 

"What?"  

"In theory, this date should've been a million times better. I really should've got something better to do."  

"You had like...three hours to prepare this, hyung. Also, do you think I ever have high expectations of you?" Junhoe deadpanned and Jiwon smiled once again, even if it was a bit weak, and then Junhoe got off him and helped him up so he was leaning back against the wall, holding onto his wrist firmly as he said, "It was perfect." 

"Oh, don't say that. You're not a liar," Jiwon scoffed as Junhoe sat next to him, stretching his legs and arms out. He half wanted to rest his arm around Jiwon's shoulders after, but then he realised how much it seemed like the 'arms in the air for a big yawn theeeen shoulders!' tactic. Too cliché. 

"Exactly. I'm not, so I'm telling the truth."  

Jiwon turned his head to look at him and Junhoe looked back, wondering what was going through Jiwon's mind. In _Junhoe's_ mind? He was thinking about the fact that he needed to fight for Jiwon's honour more; that their legs were just about touching and if Junhoe stretched out, his feet could touch Jiwon’s; and about what happened after a date. How did dates end? Bad dates ended with awkward farewells and never seeing each other again. Good dates ended with smiles, promises of another, and perhaps even a kiss. But amazing dates?  

Junhoe was snapped out of it when Jiwon shuffled around to properly face him, one leg still stretched out and the other tucked in a little. He looked so sweet, sweet messy hair and sweet bright eyes and sweet open face. He was drawing Junhoe in closer. It was definitely his heart socks working their black magic.  

"Is there anything else you want to do?" 

"I think so," Junhoe whispered before his brain had even linked up what it was, but his body moved. Slowly, but it moved and Junhoe was seeing stars as he rested his hand on Jiwon's face. He didn't really know how to at first until Jiwon's own hand guided him, so his fingers splayed over the elder's jaw and cheek and Jiwon's warm hand covered it.  

"Are you sure?" Jiwon asked quietly because of course he had figured it out and as time passed, Junhoe wasn't getting any more  _un_ -sure. No, but his courage was definitely leaving him, and fast.  

"You can say no, hyung,  _please_  do if you don't want to." 

"No that's not-"  

"I just want to know what it's...like." 

"I can show you," Jiwon hummed as he leant closer, his eyes flicking down to Junhoe's lips and the gesture was so intimate that Junhoe immediately flushed red, his heart speeding up too fast for him to deal with. "Only if you're...one hundred percent certain..."  

"I am," Junhoe whispered in a rush of breath and then Jiwon was pressing forward and finally, kissing him. It seemed so long-awaited that it was painstaking, Junhoe's heart was squeezing itself to death in his chest - but it faded. It faded because Jiwon's lips were nothing but soft, smooth against his, and they weren't letting Junhoe have a heart attack. Instead Junhoe's arm found its way to Jiwon's waist, slowly coiling around it and somehow it had got underneath Jiwon's shirt because he could feel smooth skin that was absolutely  _boiling_. Junhoe felt like he had really died, this didn't feel like earth anymore. 

Jiwon's lips still had a trace of the chocolate cake they had eaten for dessert and Junhoe wanted to lick them so bad, though he got distracted when Jiwon pushed him back, resting a hand on his chest, and the kiss getting deeper was enough for Junhoe to see stars.

Exhilaration. He knew that Jiwon was doing this so Junhoe could know what it was like to kiss a guy. But all Junhoe could think about was that this  _exhilaration_  was what it was like to kiss Jiwon. Not any guy. Just Jiwon, just his best friend, just one of the most amazing people in the entire world. 

"Fuck," Jiwon breathed after their lips parted, so gently that it took a while for Junhoe to realise that it was over. Jiwon slumped against him, mumbling a small apology and Junhoe wanted to pepper him in kisses just to show it was okay. Junhoe didn't know what was _happening_ to him. "S-So, was that...?" 

"I love you," Junhoe blurted out, amazed at himself and the overload of feelings swimming about inside of him, and Jiwon looked so happily shocked that it made Junhoe want to cry a little.

"Since when?" 

"Since forever? I love you so much. I say it a lot, really, but it's usually in the form of 'I hate you' so this version might sound weird." 

"Oh it definitely does. It would be even weirder if I said I love you too." 

That made Junhoe's heart do a tumble. Jiwon's small smirk turned it into a whole gymnastics routine. "Very but I wouldn't mind it." 

"Of course you wouldn't," Jiwon said fondly and he looked so stunning that Junhoe pulled him in again, closing his eyes before his lips even met Jiwon's. He was starting to register, slightly, that Jiwon was in his lap and they looked quite promiscuous and  _anyone_  could walk in, but then again Jiwon's hand was smoothing down his torso and this was all making Junhoe feel like the luckiest guy alive. It made all and any risk factor worth it. 

"Tell me, hyung," Junhoe whispered between kisses, Jiwon's hand curling into his shirt and pulling him closer but at the words, Jiwon broke the kiss, eyes hooded as he murmured, "Tell you what?" 

"Are you kissing me because you like me, or is it just to make me feel better about-" Junhoe wildly waved his hand in the air, because he had forgotten how to say 'being gay', "-stuff?" 

"Does the answer matter to you?" 

Junhoe blinked, having no idea how to even  _process_  that question, and Jiwon seemed to get it as his other hand fell to the back of Junhoe's neck, playing with his hair gently. It was ticklish but not in a 'you're making me want to punch you!' way. "I mean, are we gonna go back to how we were no matter my answer? Or would it change something?" 

 _If he likes me then I'll explode so yes, that seems like a change._ "The latter."  

"Let's lie," Jiwon chirped, rolling off of Junhoe so he could lie down only to pull the younger down immediately after so Junhoe ended up squished against Jiwon. "Did you see where my phone went?" 

Junhoe looked around but before he could answer, Jiwon was reaching down the side of the bed and picking something up triumphantly. "I got it! Okay, so let me show you the texts." 

Junhoe stared at him in disbelief. "So you wouldn't show me then but now you-" 

"Shhh, circumstances are different," Jiwon dismissed, scrolling through his phone. "Aaaaand here." 

Junhoe squinted at the phone, furrowing his eyebrows. "You were talking to Hanbin? You  _literally_  could've just told me tha-" 

Jiwon turned to kiss his cheek, immediately making Junhoe shut up and blush the hardest he had tonight. "Just read from here, you big baby." 

_\- sooooo how's it going?_

_\- good? hasn't displayed any GRRR level hatred yet_

_\- has he displayed ANY level of hatred_

_\- eh maybe_

_\- SERIOUSLY?? HES NOT INTO IT?_

_\- thats not what im sayinG_

_\- then what are you..._

_\- im so confused_

_\- idk it should be spectacular n amazing but it's really not_

_\- he deserves the world, i just want to be able to give him even one slice of it_

_\- icky couples. i love you guys_

_\- wow thanks_

"So that's as far as we got before you so rudely snatched it from me. Did it give you your answer, though?" 

"Not really," Junhoe mumbled, though he was still staring at the third to last message. One slice. It reminded him of a song he had once written, _'one part of the world is as good as a whole if it comes from you_ ', and it applied. Jiwon gave him the whole world every day with his smiles and ridiculous stories and impulse decisions.  

"I'm trying to show you that...yeah. I think I like you,"  Jiwon said, his voice getting quieter and quieter through the sentence until it trailed off into a whisper and Junhoe was lucky that he was close enough to hear. For some reason, his heart had decided to be calm now, only to make way for raging butterflies. More like mini dinosaurs wreaking havoc all over his insides. It wasn't explosion, instead it was trepidation, and it made him think. 

_To be in love is the world's greatest desire, and the biggest mystery. One look can make you think you're head over heels for someone. Sometimes you can share one million looks and never really **see**  the person looking at you. You can think someone means everything to you, but they don't. Someone  **can**  mean everything to you, but you don't realise. Being in love is choosing that one person over and over again because you can't fathom doing anything else. Being in love is hot chocolate that warms you up and tastes sweeter than anything you can think of. Being in love is a learning block. Being in love, is indefinable. _

_But being in love is this. Gradually unravelling someone for such a long time until you see your heart in place of theirs, and you end up realising, 'Oh. That's because I've got his. But when did that happen, and when did he take mine?'_

_And you never really quite find out when, but it's lucky enough that you were able to find out that he had yours in the first place. Some never do._

Junhoe slipped his arms around Jiwon's waist, hooking his chin over Jiwon's shoulder as he closed his eyes, just wanting to stay in that single tranquil moment between a realisation and confrontation. Jiwon's hands rested over his almost cautiously, still so warm and Junhoe took hold of a few of his fingers, rubbing his fingertips along them.  

"Did you-" 

"I heard you." 

"Ah." 

It was quiet for a moment until Jiwon pulled out of Junhoe's grasp, falling to the side so he was lying on the bed and across Junhoe's legs. He looked tired, his eyes closing, his glow was waning but his sweetness wasn't, and Junhoe leant his torso down and propped himself up on his arm beside the guy. He took a strand of Jiwon's hair and twirled it around his finger. 

"So did it work? Did I show you that dates with guys are normal?" Jiwon asked, cracking an eye open at Junhoe who narrowed his eyes in thought. 

"Well, I don't know about that, you just showed me that dates with _you_ suck." 

Junhoe yowled in pain when Jiwon punched him in the side but it was more than worth it. "I thought you said the date was 'perfect', you _meanie_.”

"Yeah, well, I just know how to sugarcoat. My bad," Junhoe said, grinning as he flicked Jiwon's nose and the elder scrunched up his face at him.  

"Fuck you."  

"Oi, that's what I say." 

"You deserved it, darling." 

Junhoe shrugged, mostly because he agreed, and Jiwon looked up at the ceiling while Junhoe looked at him. He'd find a new freckle. A new mole. A new reason that Jiwon's nose was cute. A new colour in his eyes. Junhoe could never get tired of looking at him.

"So is this what's gonna happen? Our anniversary's a day after Valentine's?" Jiwon asked with a soft grin and Junhoe blanched a little. 

"Anniversary...?"  

"Yeah. Unless you want me to ask you out in a month instead then I'm good with that." 

"No. No, now's fine," Junhoe said quietly, taking in a deep breath before Jiwon sat up and pecked his lips, holding onto Junhoe's shoulder. "See I don't...I don't wanna wait a month for this kind of thing."  

"Fair enough," Jiwon replied amusedly and Junhoe kissed him this time, shivering a little as Jiwon's hand trailed down his side to his hip, so slowly, and one of Junhoe's reached up to caress Jiwon's jaw. More exhilaration, but his heart was getting calmer with each kiss. 

"We should sleep," Junhoe murmured, pressing their lips together one last time before Jiwon's free hand reached for his, holding on loosely. "If someone walks in on us then I might be dead by tomorrow." 

"Your parents aren't strict-" 

"Death by jeering." 

"Oh." 

"This is going to be difficult, isn't it, hyung?" Junhoe asked quietly, looking down at Jiwon's hand clasped in his and the latter leant closer, forcing Junhoe to look at him with his soft eyes and stupid perfect face.

"We don't need to tell anybody. We'll never do anything you don't want to do, I'll still be me and you'll still be you, I guess really that all you need to do is let me love you." 

"No, I need to love you  _too,_ " Junhoe rebutted, sounding almost whiny. "Just, just so you don't forget that I  _do_  love you. I don't want you ever forgetting that." 

"Okay, okay. We'll love each other." 

"Just like we've always done. But there are kisses now," Junhoe said bluntly and Jiwon snickered, shaking his head. 

"Basically." 

So the first and only time they were walked in on was when they were fast asleep, cuddled up with each other under the blankets with Jiwon's head in the crook of Junhoe's shoulder and Junhoe's head on top of his, resting gently. Yejin turned the light on to check what was happening and she ended up smiling uncontrollably, clutching onto the door. "Cuties."  

Junhoe cracked an eye open, looking around groggily before seeing Yejin. "What?" 

"You guys had fun?"  

Jiwon let out a soft snore and Junhoe instinctively held him tighter, making Yejin coo at them. "Sure." 

"What do you think he had to gain from this, Junhoe? Why did he do it?" Yejin asked curiously, leaning against the doorway and Junhoe looked down at Jiwon, at his sweet sleeping face that Junhoe wanted to poke, before he looked back at Yejin. 

"He's weird. I think he's got a knight complex. He'll do anything to make me happy." 

"Wasn't a knight what you've always wanted?" Yejin asked, smiling knowingly and Junhoe stifled his own smile. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

Yejin rolled her eyes and left the room, turning the light off, and Junhoe sighed quietly and by the way Jiwon squeezed his hand, that seemed to be the thing that woke Jiwon up. Or maybe he had been awake the whole time. 

Junhoe let it go, because they had tomorrow and forever to talk about knights in shining armours, usually meaning hoodies and tattered jeans more than not, and if Junhoe was the prince then he wanted to order the world to let them be. They weren't going to be anything different to all the other couples out there, and _they_ got to have their PDA, their lovey looks, their hand-holding. He could imagine it now, him kissing Jiwon after school and a billion gasps causing an earthquake around them, feeding each other at lunch and hearing tumults of dropped plates from shock, but he wouldn't care. Those people had their own lives to get on with. Junhoe was gay, Jiwon was his, and he wasn't crazy about letting the world stop him.

**Author's Note:**

> hapPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONEEEEEE


End file.
